Gift or not to gift? That is the question...

At dinner with 3 close friends the other day, I said to them I knew exactly what I wanted for my birthday. "What?" they asked. "Nothing!" I said. My nothing does not stem from a, "I'm so blessed I need nothing in my life," sort of nothing. One of the worst excuses particularly stingy friends throw at me for historically showing up empty handed is, "I didn't know what to get you.. What do you buy the girl who has everything?" I don't have everything. I really don't. I'm actually quite an easy person to shop for considering I love to shop. I love gadgets- heck, I love gadgets so much I actually spend time writing about them. Forget about the fact that that's my business- that happened by coincidence by my Father before I was born, but the experimenting with new phones and iPods and headsets and all the rest of it? Is all me. Can't think of what gadget to get me considering I probably have everything I'd want being sold in my stores? My friends would know of my sick obsession with make up. Buy me a simple set of eye shadows- anything from Rimmel being sold in the supermarket to Tom Ford will do, and you'll have me giddy like a girl with vertigo on the top of the Burj Khalifa. Absolutely LOVE the stuff. Don't have the budget but want to get me something I'll really treasure? Anyone who has seen my eyes light outside a bookstore (or for that matter has tried borrowing a book from me) will know how much pride I take in my collection and how much they mean to me. I call the Kinokuniya store in Dubai Mall "my happy place" if that tells you anything! Books are always a safe bet!
But back to my conversation with my 3 slightly confused friends at my birthday gift request. "I'll explain," I added, "I not only don't want anything, I want to be exempt from getting you anything too. You and your families," I quickly added. Let me explain. As a single girl about to turn 35, chances are most of my friends are married, which they are or are about to be. Some of my older friends have college going kids too, but it's the ones that  who have, in recent past, and continue to procreate are the ones where my problem lies. Buying my friends birthday gifts I can handle. I have found a simple scarf from Hermes with a gift receipt in case they don't like my taste, garners a positive response from most women. Do I find it painful to have to dash to the mall at the nth hour before going for a friends birthday dinner as I would have inevitably left buying said scarf it to the last minute? Yes, I do. But nothing I can't handle. What I don't want to put up with anymore is buying the husband's birthday gifts, and worse yet, the kids. And for God's sake please let me be in oblivion about when your anniversary is, and do NOT have a dinner or party to celebrate it.
Mind you, I'm not cheap and it's not the monetary aspect I have a problem with. Most of the times I adore my friends husband's and possibly have an independent friendship with them and I'm very fortunate to have friends who are married to great guys. But would I have stressed about buying them something had I really been independently friends with them and they not been the spouse of my girl friend? Probably not. No offense my lovelies if any of you are reading this, but as a single girl I really don't want to have to pick out ties for your hubby... I don't have a brother and never bought ties for my Father and with the exception of my closest male friend who has a standard tie request for his birthday, I don't want to go tie shopping at all. Ever.
Recently, while heading for a friends kids birthday party who decided to celebrate all 3 kids birthday in one shot, I messaged another friend while hurrying out the door what I should bring. "Lego," she responded, adding the ages of the kids and indicating a price range so I wouldn't blatantly embarrass myself showing up with something too cheap, that was possibly for teenage girls (my friend has 3 boys.) To my delight I discovered that my local WH Smith sold Lego and I made a mental note for future birthday parties I may attend. What was I doing at a kids birthday party in the first place, you ask? My friend had given me an optional invite, and my other friends convinced to come late so we could hang out once the party was winding down- and we did and it was fun and I'm glad I went. And really nothing in the world can beat kiddie birthday party food. I don't know why we stopped serving chicken nuggets and mini pizzas at our birthdays... but I digress. Later I thought to myself, I have no kids.. do I really WANT to know where Lego is available? Should I opt out of going to birthday parties so I don't shamefacedly turn up empty handed? My mother would argue I have questionable social etiquette anyway and her constant complaint is that I don't go anywhere ( I opt out of most large social bashes) so should I really be making myself that much of a weirdo in social situations with close friends too?
My friends sat round the table in silence and stared at me like I had 2 heads, partly I think offended that I felt like buying gifts for their dear ones was an obligation in the first place and that I shouldn't have bothered, etc. But it's what's "done" and I did for the most part except for places I did show up empty handed (like I said, questionable social etiquette did pop up every now and then). But for all of ONE time in the year you may feel obligated to go buy me something, please understand there are possibly multiple reasons in the year I may have to go out shopping for you, and REALLY... who likes to go shopping for birthday gifts for others anyway?? Nobody! "So again," I repeated, "don't get me anything and I won't get you.. or your families.. anything either."
Am I ridiculous for not wanting to feel pressured multiple times a year to halfheartedly go pick out things for people's special occasions? Wouldn't my friends just rather I go pick out something nice for them randomly in the middle of the year if I think they'd like it?- and I do! And if I'm invited to a not-so-close friend's home for the first time or an acquaintance's something-or-the-ther, I'll happily grab a bottle of wine or champagne to take along with me so I at least have the basic common courtesies down pat. But is it really that horrible to tell a few close friends I want out of this whole gift exchanging business? The way I see it, it's not something I'm trying to enforce a week after my birthday... I'm starting at a fair platform and requesting to not be bought anything either! Is it really that bizarre?! 
"Say something," I prompted as they ate their food in silence. "Listen," said the one I'm closest to who incidentally will be the one I'm spending my birthday with in Paris. "We think you're being ridiculous and the best you'll get is for us to respect your wishes... so just be happy with that." And you know what? I am.
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