Sooo... you're probably looking at this post wondering, "while all my resolutions have been made and already broken, why is Kiran talking about New Years resolutions waaaay after the champagne hangover and empty promises of the 31st have dissolved into mindless oblivion?" Well friends, because this year instead of chanting my standard resolute mantra of, "I will loose weight" I decided to ponder a little about my resolutions and think about what it is I REALLY want to change about myself, my life and my world in 2011.
Every year exactly around this time I usually tend to find some major shifts taking place in my life and the lives of my loved ones around me, that tends to leave everyone feeling a little moody, a little anxious and in general, a little on edge. I really do believe there is some sort of cleansing that takes place right around the end of the year and it's beginning, some weird sort of shift in energies that in general makes me a bit uneasy. For some weird reason, it's something most of my friends go through as well, which only helps me support my theory... I don't know if you guys feel it too. Either way, December 2010 was no different with a lot of weird stuff in my life coming to the surface which made me sit back and think about the changes I wanted to make in the New Year. In addition to that I had been warned by an astrologer that I was going to go through a very interesting phase from the end of November into the first few months of the year which would be a phase of sort of cleansing of the old and the birth of the New. A lot of changes in my life pointed to the fact that, well, he might be right, and if in fact I'm going through such a period, I might as well succumb to it and facilitate it's process, rather than holding back and trying to fight against the change. My resolutions thus, are based on this idea, the first one being...
You can't change or control others, only yourself- Recently I was chatting with my friend Soniyaa and complaining to her about the behaviour of some people around me. "I just can't understand what is wrong with people these days," I whined. "Why does everybody these days just behave weird all the time?" Now if you've read any of my previous articles through the years, you would have heard me refer back to advice my friend Soniyaa has given me (she's a therapist, so in a way I get my head sorted by her for free) and this time was no different. "Stop expecting people to behave a certain way Kiran," she said sweetly. "You need to accept people for what they are- the good, the bad and the ugly, and it's only when you aim to do that, will your relationships in every aspect of your life will be at peace." I hung up the phone and thought about what she said, and it was true that in many recent incidents (she herself had cited 3 for me in my life) I had expected people to behave a certain way and was completely disappointed when they didn't match up to my expectations. People will be how they will be, and while you don't always have to be happy with their actions, it's SO much worse to expect the the world out of them and then feel disappointed when they don't live up to that. The friend that talked about you behind your back? That guy who blows hot and cold and plays mind games with you? The acquaintance who snubbed you at a party? In all cases, i would feel completely justified in fuming and fretting in these situations and letting my ego rule my emotions. Now, I'm going to try to accept these people for what they are and then try to figure out their own motivations for certain actions. In some cases I might choose to not have the person around in my space if they were in it to begin with- I won't stop calling a spade (or an idiot) a spade (or idiot). Just this way, I'll do it without the extra baggage of anger, resentment and other useless emotions attached to it. Hopefully this will help me be more accepting of people's behaviours though, and won't see me dropping friends like flies!
Which brings me to my second Resolution- Forgive.
I recently reconciled with someone who had really wronged me in my life and had serious epiphany through it. I hadn't spoken to this person in around five or six years, and even though I had in my own mind and in my own way forgiven them, the thought of me coming face to face with them was enough to make me very, very queasy. Interestingly enough, it was very recently that the person contacted me out of the blue and sincerely apologized for all they had done wrong. While they were trying to get the burden of forgiveness off their chest, I never realized how huge a weight would be lifted off mine. I realized to truly be able to move forward in life, as important as it is to ask for forgiveness, it's just as equally liberating (if not more so) to truly forgive. My 2010 was definitely a better year because that part of me that I never even knew was carrying the emotional charge towards the person, was completely put to rest.
Which brings me to my last and final Resolution... Surrender.
This one was a resolution that I sort of decided upon as I felt the Universe was guiding me to it. Again, a series of incidents in my life just made me a feel a little out of control recently. The fact that I was running from one astrologer to another in itself speaks volumes of how badly I wanted to be able to try to control the outcome of my life, or how badly I wanted to know what happens next. Interestingly enough it all started with 2 different astrologers giving me two different outcomes in a particular area of my life that had me stressing about which one I wanted to happen and how I could get there. Let me reiterate the ridiculousness of the situation- I was stressing about a non-existent issue that at the moment is completely out of my hands, and wondering about which one I wanted to happen and how I could get there. Remember that anxious feeling I told you about? Crazy thoughts like this will definitely do that to you! Yet, how many of us worry about future issues and possible problems before they have even arisen? I'm currently reading this book "Black Swan" which talks about, amongst other things, how ridiculous graphs and charts predicting the future of the stock market, or the GDP of a country or the future of anything are, as there will ALWAYS be unforeseen circumstances that WILL change the outcome. I looked back to my life itself and saw how every opportunity "missed", every guy I didn't marry, every decision I "wrongly" made have all given me so much more in life than the path I thought I wanted. Which brought me to a signification realization- Someone Up there loves me very much and whatever it is that He has planned for me is definitely a lot better than what I've planned for myself.
So why not wait for it to unfold and surrender to the process? :)
Anyhow, I thought I'd share my resolutions with you guys and hopefully have you thinking about your own. Do write in and let me know what yours are, as you know I absolutely LOVE to hear from you all. Hope your 2011 is already shaping up to be a great year.. I know mine is!
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