Since then, 9/11 has taken on a life of its own, meaning so many different things to so many different people. To some, it will always be a day of mourning the loss of loved ones. For others, it'll be the day that caused their loved ones to go to war. For a few, it'll be a day that saw a super power go down on its knees. For some others, it'll be the day America became an unwelcome place for them and their children. No matter where you live or how old you are, chances are your life has been touched by 9/11 in some way or another.
9/11 for me represents a lot of things. It represents something gross and horrible- the shocking awareness of the ability for humanity to purposefully hurt it's own kind. And at the same time It represents a few very frivolous things that put a damper on everyday life, including painful airport security. Of all the things that the day represents, the one that impacts me the most, is the effect 9/11 has on the life of my friend, Manu Dhingra.
My friend Manu worked on the 83rd floor of the World Trade Center, and was getting out of the elevator, running late to work when the first plane hit. The elevator doors carried the steam that went through it's shaft attacking him and instantly causing 3rd degree burns which, as he had described it to me once, caused his skin to almost slip off him. Most of Manu's colleagues were confused about what was going on and what to do, but two of his friends realized he needed to get to an ambulance ASAP and helped him descend the 83 floors to get help. People along the way gave him water and made way for him as he was injured, nobody realizing that their fate would be a lot worse than his. When he finally reached the hospital, he was in intensive care for 3 weeks, and was one of the first to recover and leave the hospital, which caused him to get on many TV shows and give interviews on what happened there- including on Larry King Live and Oprah. On one such interview with CNN, Manu says, "I was there, and, I would hope -- I wish the rest of the country could even get a sense of what had happened. They see it on TV and everything, but to just to be there, to sense what happened, is incredible. The spirits of the people there during that time, and the courage that was there -- that was incredible to see also, how people are reacting towards each other."
I met Manu at my best friend's wedding almost 2 years after the fateful day. His recovery was almost complete by then, and while you could see the physical scarring from the burns mostly on his hands, his emotional scars were still very raw and hadn't begun to heal. For many years after his "accident" as he likes to call it, Manu hung around with his friends, doing very little at all. As our friendship grew, my favourite past time with him revolved around trying to get him off his butt and do SOMETHING...anything at all that would keep his mind occupied and his interest engaged. You'd probably think he was broody and depressed with fears and phobias about what had happened to him. Quite the contrary. Manu loves to party and is a complete extrovert who loves to meet people and do fun things. Moreover, he remains one of the nicest people I've ever met- albeit one of the most flaky (It is not uncommon for him to make plans with you and just not show up). I've often wondered with other friends what came first- his indecisiveness/laziness or 9/11. We still aren't too sure. What we DO know is that when he finally decided to go into partnership and run his own restaurant 2 years back, we were so proud of his initiative and focus in setting his mind to something, and making it happen. For all those years in the middle where Manu didn't do much, he'd always say that he wanted to do something he was passionate about in his life- he just didn't know what that was. He carried a severe guilt about being saved that day, and wondered very often, "Why me?" Each and every time I'd tell him the same thing- each life doesn't necessarily need to be working towards altering the world. I truly believe that the doers are just as important as the leaders- just maybe in a different way?
While I've been in New York over the past 2 months, I've watched the controversy about the mosque at Ground Zero take place on the news, and watched different people having differing opinions on it on TV. Yet, my friend has been very non-affected by the controversy, has always been anti-war, and has a very peaceful approach to the entire situation and what happened that day. I called to ask him about his views on 9/11 and what he thought the day should be remembered for, and this is what he had to say-
Soon after 9/11, the day started becoming more about politics and policies than what had really happened. People realize now that going into war was not the best idea as it has been such a strain on the US for the past 8 years, while I knew early on itself it was a bad idea. You were going to war against people who themselves had nothing to do with 9/11 at all. The day should be remembered for the victims who lost their lives, and for the families who mourn them.
What 9/11 means to me is something very personal. It reminds me that I am very fortunate to be given this opportunity to life and that I should make the most of it, as any of those other people who didn't make it would switch places with me in a heartbeat if they could. That is why I don't go for memorial services or other events on that day- the people who gather there go to remember the less fortunate, and it just wouldn't feel right for me to be there. I wish people could just see how fortunate they are and how their lives are so precious.
Manu in all his interviews has also always spoken of the help he received from people, including the government, who didn't treat him any differently although he was an Indian citizen living in America. I have always found it so sad that the day since has become more about separation than it has oneness, which is exactly what he witnessed in the towers that day. There was no chaos, no panic.
A few weeks back a New York taxi driver was slashed and stabbed after he replied affirmatively to the question, "Are you Muslim?" This occurred during the Holy month of Ramadan, and I was pretty shocked to find out a few days later, that not many of my friends had heard about the incident. In a country that sensationalizes almost everything, the news had barely caused a ripple, and I had in fact come to know about it by following Barkha Dutt, a renown Indian journalist, on Twitter. When I asked Manu on his views about what happened he just had to say this, "it is obviously the workings of a mad man. And just like any other incident that happens in any other part of the world, it should be viewed as the craziness of one person and not reflect upon the society of the entire country." Which is, I believe how we got into this mess in the first place. Now if only people could just realize that and get along.
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